I Hate Pain.
I mean, I suppose no one truly “likes” pain. There are those who use pain as an escape from pain, but even still its about the escape from the original pain that is behind it. So, no one truly “likes” pain.
I have quite a low pain threshold when it comes to physical pain. Maybe that makes me a wuss. I don’t know. I think it more comes down to my extreme dislike of pain, wanting to NOT feel it and always searching for relief from it more than me scoring low on any pain scale. Its all about the mind anyways right? I mean, the stronger your mind to refuse to succumb to the pain, the more you can withstand before beginning to crack.
My disdain of pain is no respecter of any particular category.
I hate menstrual cramps. I hate headaches. I hate stomachaches, or really body aches of any kind. I really, really hate emotional pain. I mean (and don’t quote me or hold me to this because when in pain I want more than anything to be free, but…) I’d rather deal with physical pain than emotional pain any day! I guess, when you’re in physical pain its usually because of an injury or sickness that once treated or given time heals. You can take pain suppressants to help ease the pain, but it feels like there will be an end eventually. Now, physical pain associated with immune disorders like fibromyalgia, ms and other known disorders that cause physical pain, its kind of a different story, because you don’t really know when the “end” will occur. This kind of pain crosses over into emotional pain because its more than just a physical pain, its your entire body breaking down and rebelling against you.
Back to emotional pain though…
Whether it’s grief, trauma, depression, anxiety, fear, thoughts, any of it, all of it, IT SUCKS!!!! You feel bad for feeling bad which makes you feel worse. You feel trapped with no escape route.
The mind is such a powerful thing.
Emotional pain can cause physical pain.
STRESS KILLS. Literally!
You stress because you can’t seem to fix it, which makes it feel worse. Its a seemingly, never-ending, perpetual nightmare!
Mental health, Physical health, Spiritual Health, Emotional Health…These things are all intertwined and when one area is under attack, all of you is in jeopardy of attack.
I am not going to get into detail about these areas today, but I say all of this to say:
I. HATE. PAIN.
BUT…its not the end of the story. Even when it feels like it has no end, you’re not left to remain in it as an ending to your journey. IT WILL CHANGE! I am saying it to you because I am saying it to me. We have to remind ourselves and each other that there is so much more to our journey than our present and even extenuating circumstances. We don’t always get the luxury of a “WHY” along the way, but if we can just keep holding on and not give up hope yet, something will move just enough for you to take that next breath. Really that’s all you need when you feel suffocated by overwhelming emotions. You need a breath!
Take a deep breath. Feel your lungs fill with oxygen, with life, with hope, with promise, with future, with purpose, with love, with peace, with joy, with….
I know that sometimes it feels like you are gasping and can’t find even one small and shallow breath, but it’s there. It IS within reach. Stop and remember, you have taken a breath before when you felt you were gasping. You are still alive so you ARE in fact taking in breaths.
UGH! I wanted to vent! I wanted to be emotional. I wanted to share my HATE of pain just because I HATE it so much! But, I can’t help BUT to find a way to encourage instead. I have to! I need it! You need it!
When I finally find my breath. I take a reflective look at this thing I hate so much. As I stare deeply into what seems a bottomless and engulfing pit of darkness, I search for the good. I am reminded of all the GOOD things pain brings.
Pain in childbirth brings babies, life.
Pain in exercise brings gain in muscles, strength and endurance.
I don’t know what else it brings and don’t feel like thinking any deeper at the moment, but those two things right there are extremely powerful and encouraging all on their own.
Precious metals like gold and silver, when put through the refining fire, come out as the beautiful, smoothed and incredible creations we love to wear in jewelry. What is forged through something that causes pain seems to make it worth it somehow. If we know that what we are facing and feeling will end and something incredible will emerge out of it, we may just be able to hang on long enough to find out.
God promises that “all things will work together for the good of them that love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Well hey, we ARE called according to His purpose. He has a plan for each of us and the painful things on our journey will always lead to something good. He said it. It HAS to be true otherwise, we could have no hope. He DOES have a plan. Something GOOD WILL come from the pain. I am saying it to you. I am saying it to me.
DON’T GIVE UP YET!!!
I. HATE. PAIN.
BUT, pain is not the end of my story; its the beginning of something incredible that is about to emerge.
Hold on a little longer. We will do it together.
I HATE PAIN, but I LOVE GOD and I KNOW, even in my brokenness, that WITH HIM, I WIN!
I’m remind you. I’m reminding myself.
YES. YES WE CAN.
LOVE IS BIGGER THAN HATE. #LOVEWINS #LOVENEVERDIES